PRESS: Hey Banana. Thanks for agreeing to meet with me!

BANANA: Whatevs.

PRESS: That's a very interesting name. Is it your real name?

BANANA: My given name is Lacy, but I want to be called Banana.

PRESS: Why?

BANANA: Because my favorite author's name is Banana.

PRESS: Banana who?

BANANA: Banana, me! I'm my favorite author! *smirks*

PRESS: I stepped right into that one.

BANANA: I'm named after me. Parents can't name right when they don't even know the kid.

PRESS: How old are you?

BANANA: I'm eleven years old.

PRESS: And you know yourself? I didn't really find myself until I was twenty-seven. I guess we find ourselves at mental and emotional plateaus at different ages. I remember going to a dream analysis thing when I was eleven, and ...

BANANA: Hey, this interview's about me, isn't it?

PRESS: Yes, sorry. Are you doing well in school?

BANANA: No, but I don't really care about that. It doesn't mean I'm dumb or anything. School is just pointless.

PRESS: Don't you think you need school to get a good job?

BANANA: No. I should get familiar with things I find interesting, so that I can write books to explain those things interestingly to other people. I'm a writer, so I shouldn't get burnt out by classes that aren't about things that I'm going to write about.

PRESS: I have no argument for that.

BANANA: *smirks* I win!

PRESS: Are you into music?

BANANA: *gives PRESS a strange look, with one eyebrow raised and one eyebrow lowered* Everyone's into music.

PRESS: What bands do you like?

BANANA: Whatever inspires me, but mostly fast music.

PRESS: Are you into movies?

BANANA: Are you for real? Of course I'm into movies! I like movies that contain a lot of violence, and I like movies that contain a lot of action. Fast violence and fast music!

PRESS: You're not old enough to watch violent movies.

BANANA: When you're alive, you're old enough to enjoy what life offers. It's your responsibility.

PRESS: You're a wise kid.

BANANA: Thankies!

PRESS: You're welcome. Let's shift gears to something a little more slow-paced.

BANANA: Awwe... hehe.

PRESS: You're a fair skinned girl ... are you Japanese?

BANANA: All anime characters look like westerners.

PRESS: So you're aware that you're an anime character?

BANANA: It's a secret.

PRESS: So you ARE Japanese?

BANANA: Yes. My surname is Chan because of a Chinese branch on my family tree.

PRESS: Tell me about your home town.

BANANA: At the moment, I feel more connected to Tokyo. But I'm on the way back to my home town of Rain, a sea-side town where I was born.

PRESS: Have you ever been to another country?

BANANA: *laughs*

PRESS: What's so funny.

BANANA: Another secret.

PRESS: Do you have any pets?

BANANA: I like animals.

PRESS: Do you have any animals at the moment?

BANANA: At the moment, I'm talking with you. Are we almost done?

PRESS: Just a few more questions, please. I want the audience to get an idea about who you are, so that perhaps they'll hopefully maybe read the scripts ... and then hopefully maybe the story will get popular ... and then hopefully maybe perhaps the series will get produced as an anime. Wouldn't you like to be an anime star?

BANANA: I am one. The first episode begins when I'm returning to the town of Rain. And we're shooting that scene in just a few hours.

PRESS: Yeah ... so ... what's your favorite food?

BANANA: Melted cheese on top of green beans.

PRESS: Sounds good.

BANANA: I also like doughnuts.

PRESS: Cool. Do you and your mom get along?

BANANA: My mom died in a car accident when I was a toddler.

PRESS: So Mrs. Chan isn't your mom?

BANANA: I act like she's my mom, and she acts like she's my mom. But she's actually a woman who looks like my mom, and her true identity will be revealed on an upcoming episode.

PRESS: Interesting.

BANANA: Damn smacky it's interesting.

PRESS: Well, that's all the questions that I have for you today, Banana. Thank you very much for participating.

BANANA: Whatevz.