Instructions on how to make Alan Famous:
1)  Try to bring up his name in everyday conversations.
    EXAMPLE: During a basketball game.
    Friend - "Take it to the hole, man!"
    You - "The Alan Holman?"
    
2) Name your favourite sexual position after him!
   You - "I learned this one from Alan.  I call it The Alan Holman Position."
   Call out his name during sex!
   

That's right! Alan Holman will someday be the most famous person on Earth! He's going to be more well-known than Michael Jackson or even God! So get on the bandwagon before it even has wheels! Declare your love for Alan today!

Fame has a high price, and Alan is willing to pay it! For you, for me, for all of us! Amen!

I recently had a chance to talk with one of Alan's many groupies. Let's call her Danielle. "Danielle" said that she has had lots of great sex with Alan, and doesn't mind sharing him with others. "Someday he's going to be really famous," said Danielle, "and I can't wait 'cause then I can sue him for child support!"

3) Mention him whenever you are on a nationally syndicated talk show.
   EXAMPLE:  Conan O'Brien - "So where have you been recently?"
             You - "Improving my mind by studying the works of Alan Holman"


4) Notice that his initials are A.H. = "Ahhh..." so every time someone says "Ahhh...," think of Alan!

5) Name your children "I wish I wuz Alan Holman."

6) Write an article or a book, in praise of Alan Holman!